Thursday, January 27, 2011 ♥
Two days of quarrels we had ...This can consider the really first quarrel we had since the day we know and get together ...And it was a really long quarrel with lots of arguements -.-1st - pengarang trip quarreled about it coz euu still dun admit tat euu are in wrong ...2nd - kelvan & ziwei message euu somehow have some misunderstanding in kelvan and coz euu to dislike him and feels that he affected our relationship .3rd - ur attitude ur attitude changed alot since we officially got together ... euu became more Da Nan Ren and having short temper .4th - euu compared me and ur ex ! ( which i fking hate the most ! )euu said my character and her's is totally alike ! and i m like her who broke promises !dam , which is all along my character is like this but just tat euu didn't realise !5th - out of a sudden , euu told me that i am actualli a third party !at the beggining , this isn't wad euu told me ! euu said tat euu broke up with her coz of the way she treated euu n ur feeling for her is longer there ...After having all this arguements , i really feel that our communication and understanding isn't built up . Through out this few days , i had been thinking whether to let go anot ... but i realised that i rlly love euu too much tat i can't bear to let go ... Hopefully , after all this arguements , i wish that things will get better ! :)
listened to the sweet sound @ 6:37 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2011 ♥
It's been awhile since i last blogged !
In this post , i just wish to say everything from my heart from 2010 ...
Since the day that i had fell for euu , confessed my feelings toward euu ...And euu telling me that euu have the same feelings towards me ... Let's say , from the start of May till mid June being with euu more dhen friends but not couple ...At that period of time , i am really confused and tired ... I can't really see through euu ...After euu had came back from sailing on the October ... Things still continues to be the same ...In that four months when euu are not around , i thought that i can totally forget euu ...But i couldn't do that and let things continue when during that time i know things wont turn out good coz all along i dunno wad euu are tinking and how euu treated me ...After euu had came back , my mind had became more confused dhen how it is last time ...During that period of time , i told myself ... Nothing will turn out to be fine , stop lying to myself and being foolish to continue waiting ...All this while , i had already done alot and love euu too deeply ...When i met Ziwei , everything changed ...She told me lots of things and even asked me not to give up ...During November , she asked me to hold on and not to give up as something will happen in 1 - 3 months time ...Indeed , i received a good news on 18th November ...But on that day , i know that he hasn't really settle his things before asking me to be together with him ...So i asked him to settle his things first dhen we talk about it ...On the same day , he broke up with his girlfriend even though he said it wasn't because of me ...On the 19th November he asked me once again and i accepted ...But before i accepted , there's some thoughts flashing in my mind about not to be with him ...At least he really makes me feel happy and relieved during my Genting trip from 19th - 22th ...After all the confusion and waiting , finally things turn out to be out of my expectation ...From 19th November 2010 till now which is 20th January 2011 ...Starting of the relationship was really great and happy ...But after a period of time , i feel that there's really a lack of communication and understanding between the both of us ...Which turns out to having problems and my feelings towards him ...It's just a two months relationship yet things turn out to be cold coz of me ...But there's certainly reasons behind about why i suddenly treated him cold ...I had been keep on asking myself , do i really love euu or i just used to have euu by my side ...Until now , i still can't seems to find the answer ...During this two months , there's a period that i am really tired and wanna end everything ...But it's isn't really that easy to let go after so many things had happen and the route that i had been through before being together ...Euu gave me a feeling that euu wanted to tie me by your side ...I am someone who don't like to be controlled and tied ...But unknowingly , i actually been tied by euu on my own ...All along in this relationship , i dare to sae i had never failed to put in effort and time ...I had already give in too much that i had already felt tired long ago ...But even though Ziwei keep on asking me to give myself a break to go on longer ...I seems to be unable to take a break and i am still giving in in no matter what ...I really wish this relationship will last long but after everything , i dun see our future ...At the beginning when we are together , i didn't have faith and trust ...But i had already overcome it but the feeling came again ...Euu somehow changed in ur attitude and character ...Even a outsider can sees that , maybe it's because i had doted on euu too much ...I just wish things will turn out better and last long :)
listened to the sweet sound @ 3:06 AM
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 ♥
My life now seems to be like just working and being with my family ...
Suddenly feel that i neglected alot of things and friends around me ...
Perhaps i just couldn't corp well between work and spending time with friends ...
But i really do enjoy my work lots and gained quite alot of experience from it ...
And in the mean time , i kinda get over certain things :)
Though sometime i still miss that someone , but i know the love that i had for him is just for me to keep it in my heart !
No longer gonna be like last time strangling on to something which is impossible ...
Letting go feels much more better then strangling on to it
And even having the person that euu love by euu , doesn't have the person heart ...
It's just pointless , so might as well let go ! :)
listened to the sweet sound @ 3:16 AM
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 ♥
After so many people had convinced me yet i still can't make up my mind ..
Why am i holding on to something when knowing it's impossible ..
I should had hated euu so much after what had happen but i dunno why i can't get myself to hate euu ...
The feeling really sucks so much , i m so tired of trying to make myself happy when i am not ..
How long will this thing go on ??
If i still can't get myself to be busy all the while , i will collapse anytime ..
What did euu really treat me as ??
Someone who can just be played with or someone that euu are making use of ..
The feeling i had for euu is more than i had expected ..
The fastest and foolish way to forget euu is to be fooled by euu ..
But i can't be sure whether i can really take such a damage coming from euu ..
I really hope that i can forget euu and not be so confusing now ..
Actually there's only one best way to solve what is going on now ..
But i am just being foolish to think that there might be hope around !!
What the hell am i really thinking ??
Knowing that i should be awake and face the reality but i still can't get myself to be awake ..
Knowing what's the fact yet i still lying to myself and not trying to believe things ..
listened to the sweet sound @ 4:07 PM
Thursday, April 22, 2010 ♥
Dunno what kind of reaction should i give about what euu sae .
The kind of feeling that euu give me is really dam weird .
Sometimes feeling happy yet angry .
I know it isn't right to like someone that i shouldn't .
How m i suppose to give up when the way euu treating me can't make me bear to give up .
Really confuse over what i should do and feel now .
I really wish to maintane this friendship but if things still continue like that i can't forget euu .
How should i really communicate with euu in a way that things wouldn't change
and my feeling will slowly being wash off ...
Why am i always stuck in things like this and still can't figure things out !
I really starts to feel that i m blind and hating myself for it .
aihz !
listened to the sweet sound @ 4:12 PM
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 ♥
Finally i got the courage to tell him !
And the result turns out to be suprising ...
I was happy yet felt guilty ...
Your answer really gave me quite a shock , it's really out of my expectation ...
No matter what , even if i tell euu ...
Euu said euu liked me but euu still love ur girlfriend alot ...
How m i suppose to face euu again if we meet up ...
Are euu really a guy not worthy being loved ...
Forgetting someone isn't easy and people around keep telling me to do so ...
Confessing might be a relieve but there's a weird feeling though ...
How should i overcome this weird feeling !!!
listened to the sweet sound @ 5:13 PM
Monday, April 19, 2010 ♥
Was hesistating since yesterday to tell him or not ...
Knowing the result that more then 80% will turn out bad and should i still sae ?
Not saying will just let things remain like how it is ...
Saying might cause the friendship to drift apart or can't even continue to be friends ...
The moment when slacking with euu is totally different though i dislike the topics ...
I also wish i can do things by following my heart but i have so many doubts and not enough courage to sae things out ...
Was thinking is there anyway to test the answer from euu when i tell euu ...
But nothing came to my mind and i m still hesistating !!!
Should i sae or shouldn't i ???
listened to the sweet sound @ 12:29 PM
